


i didn't know i was lonely til i saw your face

by lhknox



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Prom, Romance, Romantic Comedy, classic nerd girl transformation, high school romance, i swear to god its so many tropes rolled into one, you may laugh you may cry who knows not me thats for sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 03:42:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10654185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lhknox/pseuds/lhknox
Summary: Jock Maggie needs help passing calculus, or else she'll get cut from the baseball team and lose her scholarship. She makes a deal with Nerd Alert Alex: if Alex helps Maggie with her math, Maggie will help her get popular enough to score a date with Maxwell Lord.The problem is, there's a chance she might fall in love with her along the way.or,Not Another High School AU





	i didn't know i was lonely til i saw your face

**Author's Note:**

> so this was inspired by [this tumblr post](https://rowdyholtzy.tumblr.com/post/159179886301/wheres-the-goofy-teen-comedy-where-the-popular)
> 
> if you're like, 'this reminds me of such and such movie' youre probably right. this contains so many high school rom com tropes it's insane. also its unbetad bc mistakes make the heart grow gayer or some shit idk leave me alone
> 
> why yes, the title is from I Wanna Get Better, aka the best song of all time, aka the song that would've been in ever 1990s/2000s teen comedy if it had been released.
> 
> no ragrets.
> 
> enjoy all the gay!

Maggie Sawyer’s biggest secret is that her favorite subject is Calculus.

 

She’s not particularly good at it, no, her forte is English Lit and Ancient History. Hell, she sort of kind of sucks at Calculus. But she’s mesmerized by the numbers and the patterns even if most of it goes over her head. She loves the poetry of formulas that supposedly work, the way the logic of it all grounds her while the ethereal infinity of numbers makes her feel floaty and small.

 

Also her teacher, Ms. Ryan is the prettiest woman she’s ever seen. 

 

Maybe Maggie would be better at Calculus if she spent class paying attention to what Ms Ryan wrote on the board rather than her ass as she was writing it. It’s not her fault, though. Ms. Ryan is like, really amazingly beautiful and makes Maggie too gay to function.

 

“Miss Sawyer?” Maggie springs to life as she realises Ms. Ryan is calling on her.

 

“Huh?” The laughter of her classmates doesn’t annoy or embarrass Maggie; she’s a popular little shit, and the attention eggs her on.

 

“I asked if you could solve the equation I have on the board.” Maggie squints at the board, and she knows she has no idea how to do the problem.

 

“Gee, Ms. Ryan I wish I could, but you see, I’ve got a baseball game next week,” Maggie tells her seriously. She tries her hardest not to smirk at the laughs coming from her friends.

 

“And how does that stop you from doing this equation?”

 

“I’d have to get up, and write it on the board. Who’s to say I don’t sprain my pitching wrist as I write the answer? Not to mention that this classroom is incredibly overcrowded. I might trip on my way up there, and injure myself even further. Frankly, Ms. Ryan, it’s irresponsible to have asked.” 

 

“Yeah, Ms. Ryan, you wouldn’t want our star pitcher out for the count before the season’s properly started, would you?” pipes up James from the back, and Maggie grins, making a mental note to thank her best friend later on. Ms. Ryan rolls her eyes playfully, not willing to fight her most stubborn student.

 

“Can anyone solve this question for me?” the teacher says, turning to the rest of the class. A hand shoots up in the middle of the room, and Maggie feels annoyance creep up her spine because of course Alex Danvers has to be the one to show her up.

 

Ms Ryan nods at Alex, who swiftly makes her way to the board.

 

“Careful not to trip!” Maggie calls out and the class laughs. Alex whirls around and stares daggers at her, before solving the equation in a matter of seconds.

 

Maggie rolls her eyes as Ms. Ryan smiles and pats Alex on the back. She doesn’t know why Alex Danvers irks her so much, but it’s been that way ever since Maggie transferred to Midvale High halfway through their freshman year. Alex Danvers is quiet and her and Maggie run in very different circles, but she’s just… she’s so judgemental, always staring at the crowds like she’s better than everyone else. And Maggie can’t stand it. 

 

Maggie has her things packed as the bell rings for the last time that day, and she’s out the door and halfway to her locker before she gets lost in the sea of students who pour out of the classrooms. She grabs her gym bag and heads down to the baseball pitch. She likes to be the first on the field, to take in the fresh air and walk the bases before the rest of the team gets there and riles her up. There’s just something about a quiet baseball field that keeps Maggie calm, keeps her focused and ready.

 

So she’s surprised when she sees Coach Jones already there, arms crossed and waiting for her.

 

“Everything okay, Coach?” she asks as she gets close enough, adjusting her bag on her shoulder.

 

“Not really, Sawyer, no. I had an interesting conversation with Ms. Ryan today,” he says.

 

“If this is about me messing up in her class, like, it was a joke and she was chill and--”

 

“No, it’s not that, Maggie. It’s your grades. We need to suspend you from the team--”

 

“WHAT?”

 

“-- Until you can show us your grades are improving and you’re on a C+ average.” Maggie feels her heart drop; there was no way she could get to a C+ average. She just wasn’t good enough.

 

“Coach, this isn’t fair!” Maggie cries, “you can’t cut me from the team!”

 

“You’re not cut, Sawyer. Suspended. For a few weeks until we see your grades improving.” 

Maggie storms away. Deciding to throw caution to the wind, she whirls around and calls out to her coach.

 

“This is bullshit and you know it!”

 

“Language, Sawyer! And go talk to your teacher!”

 

///

 

“Ms. Ryan, you can’t fail me,” Maggie says as she barges into the classroom, “I can’t afford to be failing this class. I need baseball, I need to get a scholarship. Don’t fail me. Please.” She pauses when she sees Ms. Ryan talking to Alex Danvers, who refuses to look anywhere near her.

 

“Er, sorry,” Maggie says, “I can come back.”

 

“No, it’s fine,” Alex stammers, “I was just leaving.” For the first time in her year and a half at the school, Maggie feels a surge of gratitude towards Alex Danvers. When the door clicks softly behind Alex, Ms. Ryan sighs.

 

“I’m sorry, Maggie, but your grades just aren’t acceptable, and I can’t in good conscience pass you with the work you’re submitting. If you want, I can recommend some good tutors--” Maggie laughs humorlessly. 

 

“My aunt can’t afford tutoring; we can barely afford rent some months. I just… I don’t know what to do. I need baseball.” Ms. Ryan lays a sympathetic hand on Maggie’s shoulder, and if it were under different circumstances, she’d blush and think about it for the rest of the week. But all she can think about is the fact that she’s so shitty at math that it’s gonna cost her a college scholarship, and she’ll be stuck working in a goddamn Dairy Queen for the rest of her life.

 

“This school doesn’t have a peer tutoring program like other schools I’ve worked at, but if you really do need help, I can probably find a student willing to help you.” Maggie shakes her head, trying to hold back the frustrated tears that threaten to fall. If there’s one thing she’s inherited from her asshole father, it’s pride. There’s no way she wanted people knowing about this.

 

“It’s fine. I’ll, uh, I’ll figure it out. Thanks anyway, Ms. Ryan.”

 

She slams the door as she leaves, ignoring Ms. Ryan calling after her. She’s thankful that she’s already in her gym clothes because she decides to run the five miles home, hoping to clear her head and figure something out. Her feet hit the pavement with a steady thud, one after the other. 

Her heart beats wildly as she speeds up, and her breaths are sharp in her chest. She doesn’t stop once, not until she’s standing outside her apartment block, clutching the stitch in her side. 

 

Maggie throws open the door of her apartment, making her way straight to the fridge. She grabs the orange juice, and makes the executive decision to drink straight from the carton.

 

“You’re home early,” comes a voice from the living room. Maggie startles at the sound, almost dropping the juice, sloshing some of it onto the tiles.

 

“Jesus, tia, you scared the shit outta me.”

 

“Language, kiddo, and for Christ’s sake, be a proper human and use a glass.” Maggie follows her aunt’s instructions, and pours them both a glass of juice.

 

“So no practice today?” her aunt asks, and Maggie hesitates. Her Aunt Issy took her in about a year and a half before, when Maggie’s parents had kicked her out. Issy wasn’t that much older than Maggie, but she had done all she could for her. She was twenty eight years old, raising a teenager, and Maggie didn’t want to make things harder by rocking the boat in anyway. And that included failing calculus and getting suspended from the baseball team, effectively losing any chance she had at a college scholarship.

 

“Yeah,” Maggie says, choosing to lie, “Coach was sick, so we decided to cancel.”

 

“Oh, so it’s nothing to do with being suspended from the team?” Issy replies, eyebrow raised. 

 

Well, fuck.

 

“You, uh, you heard about that?” Maggie asks, her voice oddly high. She takes a sip of orange juice to seem nonchalant. It doesn’t work.

 

“The school does this really cool thing where it communicates with your guardian whenever you’re failing classes.”

 

“Tia, I’m so sorry. I just, I don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna stop playing baseball but I know we can’t afford tutoring.”

 

“Well first thing’s first, don’t lie to me,” Issy says sternly. “And second of all, we can figure something out. Nobody in your class can help?” Maggie looks at her feet.

 

“I… I haven’t asked anyone. And I don’t want to.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“It’s embarrassing,” Maggie mumbles, “And I don’t like asking people for help. I don’t want to owe them anything, or for them to look at me weirdly.” Issy sighs, rubbing a hand over her face. She pats the couch cushion beside her, and Maggie ambles over to sit beside her.

 

“Honey, I know that your dad was a proud, stubborn man and that he taught you certain things about life, but you gotta know that it’s okay to ask for help. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. And under my roof, we talk about our problems. No secrets, no lying, got it?”

 

“Got it.” Issy kisses her on the forehead.

 

“Now, maybe you can start a study group. Find someone who can help you with calculus, and you can help them with something you’re good at, like maybe history?” With Issy’s suggestion, Maggie’s mind starts whirring. Alex is the smartest girl in their class, the only person it makes sense for Maggie to ask for help. But there’s no way Alex needs help with any of her other subjects; the girl is a freaky genius. A freaky genius whose only friend is her weird kid sister, and who might as well get around with a giant ‘I’m a loser’ sign on her all the time...

 

Maggie thinks she has an idea.

 

///

 

Unsurprisingly, Maggie finds Alex sitting alone at lunch, her nose in a book. If she notices Maggie sit across from her, she shows no indication. Maggie waits a few moments, before clearing her throat. Alex still doesn’t respond, she just turns to the next page.

 

Maggie clears her throat again, this time louder. Alex sighs.

 

“What do you want, Sawyer?” she asks in a bored tone, still not looking up from her book.

 

“I have a proposition for you, Danvers,” Maggie says.

 

“Oh, do you now?” Alex puts down the book (finally) and smirks at Maggie. “The high and mighty Maggie Sawyer wants to be in cahoots with me?” Maggie takes a deep breath.

 

“I got suspended from the baseball team because I’m failing calculus.” Maggie pauses, waiting for Alex to make a snide comment, but it doesn’t come. She powers on. “I need to pick up my grades so I can play baseball again. I’m working towards a sports scholarship; I need it to go to college.” 

 

She hopes she won’t have to spell it out, that Alex will fill in the blanks. 

 

She doesn’t.

 

“So where do I come into this?” Alex asks.

 

“I need a tutor. I can’t afford a proper one, and this school doesn’t have a peer tutoring program.”

 

Alex furrows her brow, and Maggie scrambles to convince her.

 

“B-but, it wouldn’t be like you’re doing it for free, I’d tutor you in something else.” Alex laughs.

 

“You know I have a 4.0 GPA, right?”

 

“I wouldn’t tutor you in school… I’d… I’d help you get more popular,” Maggie had hoped to say it in a nicer way, soften the blow or whatever. Alex laughs humorlessly at the offer.

 

“What makes you think I want to be anything like you or your group of asshole friends?” Alex says, shoving her book in her backpack and stomping away from the table. Maggie jumps up and races after her.

 

“I, I don’t mean to say you need to be popular, I’ve just noticed you don’t have many friends, and--” Maggie cuts herself off, wincing. She sounds like an asshole; there’s just something about Alex Danvers that makes it impossible for her to talk normally. She whirls around to face Alex, stopping her from walking away.

 

“Maxwell Lord,” she says, and Alex raises an eyebrow at her.

 

“What about him?”

 

“I’ve seen the way you look at him,” Maggie says, this time softer, and more sincere. “You like him.”

 

Alex doesn’t respond, she just stares at Maggie, stone-faced.

 

“I… it’s not about changing you, Alex. It’ll just be me helping you get his attention. I promise that, that I can get you a date with Maxwell Lord in less than two months. Hell, I bet I can get him taking you to prom.” 

 

She can almost see the cogs in Alex’s mind moving, weighing up the options.

 

“And all I’d have to do in return is tutor you in calculus?” Alex asks. Maggie nods vehemently.

Before she can say anything else, the bell rings, and a sea of students appears from nowhere, rushing to get to class. Alex walks away, and Maggie feels her heart drop. She hadn’t convinced her. She was going to fail the class, and never play baseball again. She’d be stuck in Midvale forever.

 

“My house. Tonight.” Alex calls over her shoulder, and Maggie lets out a shaky breath of relief. 

 

///

 

The door opens less than a second after she rings the doorbell, and it scares the crap out of Maggie.

 

“Jeez,” she says, “that was fast.”

 

Kara Danvers stands at the door, beaming at Maggie.

 

“You’re here for Alex, right?”

 

“Uh, yeah.” Kara ushers her inside, leading her to the kitchen.

 

“She’ll be down shortly. I’m Kara,” she tells her as she rumbles through the fridge. “I don’t think we’ve ever met properly, I’m a freshman this year. Chocolate milk?” Maggie smiles at the offer. She knows what they say about her at school, that she’s weird and intense and super clingy, but the girl seems sweet and really nice.

 

“Yes please. And I’m Maggie, Maggie Sawyer.”

 

“Oh, I know who you are,” Kara tells her. “You’re like, the star of the baseball team.”

 

“Well, not for much longer,” Maggie says in between sips of her chocolate milk. “Not unless Alex can help me get my grades up.” Kara offers Maggie a cookie with a sympathetic look on her face. Maggie takes one, and dunks it in her milk.

 

“Don’t you worry, Maggie. If anyone can help you it’s Alex. When I first got here, she helped me with all my school work.”

 

“Got here?” 

 

“Yeah,” Kara says with a frown, as though she expects Maggie to know the story. Maggie guesses she hasn’t been listening to the school’s gossip mill enough.

 

“My parents died a few years ago,” Kara explains softly, “The Danvers’ adopted me.”

 

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea.” Maggie tells her. It’s classic high school, Maggie thinks bitterly. They tease and bully Kara for being any sort of different, but they don’t bother to stop and think about everything she’s been through. “I’m glad you have Alex, though.”

 

Kara smiles her thousand watt smile and takes a bite of her cookie. “Yeah, she’s the best,” she says, mouth full.

 

It’s then that Alex decides to make her entrance, coming into the kitchen and ruffling Kara’s hair affectionately. 

 

“Sorry I took so long,” Alex says with a smile. “You ready to get started?”

 

For a split second, Maggie is taken by surprise, enamoured with how calm and at ease Alex is. She shouldn’t be surprised; everybody is comfortable in their own home. But Maggie is so used to seeing Alex on edge and closed off, and this Alex is so different. She wears her hair down, first of all, rather than in the high ponytail she usually wears it in. She wears a baggy sweatshirt and leggings, but it’s more than the comfortable clothing. She just seems…. Happy. And the smile Alex wears burrows deep beneath Maggie’s skin, settling in nicely and making her feel warm.

 

“Yeah,” Maggie smiles, “I’m ready.”

 

///

 

“Question,” James says as he sits in the empty chair beside Maggie. She frowns; their calculus class doesn’t have assigned seating and she was hoping Alex would take the one next to her.

 

“Answer,” Maggie replies sarcastically, leaning back in her chair and making it balance on two legs.

 

“Why have you been hanging out with the Danvers’ so much recently?”

 

Maggie’s chair wobbles, and she puts her hands out to steady herself. She’s glad for the distraction because James’ question had caught her off guard.

 

“Uh, she’s tutoring me. In calculus.”

 

“I know that,” he says, rolling his eyes, “but you’re with her like, every afternoon after school.”

 

“I need a lot of tutoring,” Maggie replies.

 

“She gave you a lift to school this morning.”

 

“Early morning session before class,” she deadpans.

 

“Come on, man. What’s going on with you?” James asks. “You hate Alex Danvers.”

 

“No I don’t,” Maggie says, growing more and more annoyed with her best friend. “And I told you, she’s helping me out big time. Now drop it.”

 

It’d been about four months since their arrangement had started, and Maggie’s grades have improved significantly, to the point where she probably didn’t need Alex’s help anymore. She was back on the team already. They alternated days of tutoring, calculus one day, popularity the next. Maggie knew there wasn’t really anything she could  _ teach  _ Alex, but rather she helped her with her confidence, with opening up, with not dressing like one of their teachers. The taunting from her classmates had stopped, and people seemed more friendly in the hallways, but Alex still stuck mostly by herself. 

 

Truthfully, Maggie doesn’t think Alex needs to change a damn thing. Not that she’d ever admit it outloud, but Maggie enjoys spending time with Alex, and Kara, too. They’re funny and warm and Maggie feels comfortable around them. 

 

“They’re, like, sort of weird, Mags. Kara’s only friend is that Schott kid, and Alex is a bitch.”

 

“You don’t even know them, Jimmy,” Maggie replies, using the nickname she knows he hates, “so just shut the fuck up.” He holds his hands up in surrender, clearly unconvinced, just unwilling to push Maggie any further.

 

Ms. Ryan enters the classroom and begins the lesson, and Maggie realises that Alex isn’t there. With a frown, she sends her a quick text under the table. Her phone vibrates with a reply moments later.

 

**Alex:** dont worry, just with kara. 

**Maggie:** everything okay?

**Alex:** some sophomore a-holes giving her a hard time, she’s pretty upset. take notes for me?

 

Maggie tucks her phone away, angrier than she was after her small spat with James. Kara is pure sunshine and the idiots in their school try their hardest to dampen her optimism and happiness. They push her around, along with everyone who’s slightly different, and Maggie is sick of it. They only accept her because she’s good at sports and knows how to tell a joke. If she weren’t a baseball star, if she weren’t so loud and extroverted, she’d be pushed aside, too.

 

“Miss Sawyer?” Ms. Ryan says, shaking Maggie from her rage spiral.

 

“Yes, ma’am?”

 

“I asked if you could solve the equation on the board.” Maggie stands up without another word, with no comebacks or whatever, and walks to the board. She does the equation as quickly as she can, her hand still shaking with anger.

 

“Great work, Maggie!” Ms. Ryan says when she’s done and seated, and three months ago, Ms. Ryan smiling at her and giving her a compliment would’ve made Maggie’s heart soar. But right now, all she wants is for Alex to have been there to have seen it, to have been proud of her.

 

///

 

Maggie sits in the courtyard at lunch, surrounded by the laughter and chatter of her friends. From where she sits, she has a clear visual of Alex, and makes sure to glance over every few minutes to make sure she’s okay. When she zones back into the conversation around her, she rolls her eyes; they’re talking about a party James is throwing on Friday night. 

 

“So Maggie, will you be able to make it?” Lucy asks, her arms wrapped protectively around James.

 

“Uh, yeah. Should be, just gotta ask my aunt about it,” Maggie replies.

 

“Just tell her you’re sleeping over at my place. You don’t have to tell her the truth,” Lucy says, and Maggie wants to laugh. There were no secrets between her and Issy, not anymore. 

 

Zoning out once again, Maggie lets her eyes wander over to Alex. She jolts when she sees Alex alert and upset, and Maggie follows her line of vision to the other side of the courtyard. She sees Kara sitting on a bench, her eyes trained to the ground, being laughed or yelled at or something by a few asshole sophomores. Maggie watches as Alex marches over to them, but Maggie is closer to Kara, and she knows the sophomores currently harassing her. They’re reserves on the baseball team - Brandon, Jordan, and Taylor - three big hulking guys who always laugh too loudly, and say crude things.

 

Before she realises what she’s doing, Maggie’s out of her seat, and storming towards them. She catches Alex watching her with wide, confused eyes, but Maggie doesn’t care. This isn’t about Alex. This is about Kara. The guys are all up in Kara’s face, one of them shoving her shoulder, one of them flipping through her notebook. Her blood boils as she hears the things they say to her. 

 

“Hey!” Maggie calls out, and she gets the attention of the biggest one, Brandon, the one repeatedly shoving Kara’s shoulder. He turns just in time to see a blur of Maggie. Her body collides with his and they tumble to the ground beside Kara’s feet, and she punches him the face, once, twice, three times. She keeps going, too angry to even think, spurred on by the sound of her fist hitting his face.

 

“What the fuck?!” Taylor yells, pulling Maggie off Brandon. She whirls around, and punches him, landing one square in the jaw. He stumbles, but doesn’t fall, instead rounding back and punching her, too. She loses her upper hand, and he gets a couple more punches in, and she falls to the ground. He punches her in the face repeatedly, and pain radiates through her. Maggie feels her skin split open, and blood pour down her face. She shoves him off her, and reverses their positions. She punches him again and again, before scrambling off him. She lands a quick few kicks to his stomach, and turns to Jordan. He holds up his hands and backs away slowly, not wanting to have his ass handed to him by the very small person before him.

 

Maggie looks at the two boys on the ground in front of her, bloodied and groaning, and she looks to Kara, who stares at her with wide eyes. She realises, as she glances around, that the entire courtyard surrounds her, looking at her in shocked silence. Maggie searches the crowd for one person in particular, finding her quite easily. Alex stares back, her expression unreadable, her eyes sharp. Maggie turns to the rest of the school, shaky and in pain.

 

“Nobody,” she says, using all of her energy to make sure her voice is loud enough to be heard by everyone. “Nobody touches Kara Danvers. You hear me? Leave her the fuck alone, or you’ll end up like these assholes.” She gestures to the two boys behind her who writhe in pain.

 

“Maggie Sawyer!” Ms. Ryan appears at the front of the crowd, having pushed her way through. Maggie groans, half from the pain she’s in, half from the trouble she’s about to be in. “Principal’s office! Now!”

 

///

 

Maggie sits in the nurses’ rooms, waiting for the damn school nurse to come and help her. Her whole body shakes, running out of the adrenaline that was pumping through her a half hour ago. She had been thoroughly berated by the principal, yelled at for twenty minutes, before he sent her to the nurse to be cleaned up. 

 

There’s a small knock at the door, and Maggie looks up, thankful that the nurse is finally there.

 

She tries to ignore the way her heart skips a beat when she sees Alex standing there instead, timid and shy, almost scared to come into the room.

 

“Hey,” Maggie says, smiling at her. Well, attempting to smile. She thinks it’s more of a grimace.

 

“Hey yourself,” Alex replies, entering the room and pottering around for a moment. She sits down a moment later, with a bucket of water and a wet cloth. Alex runs the cloth gently over Maggie’s face, cleaning the dried blood. She works in silence, her hand steady and confident, as though she’s done it a million times before.

 

“Kara used to be really reckless,” Alex says, as though she can read Maggie’s mind. “She wouldn’t get hurt, but she’d come home covered in dirt and mud. I’d clean her up before my mom and dad got home.” Maggie smiles at the memory, at the fondness in Alex’s voice as she talks about Kara.

 

“What you did was stupid,” Alex says, her tone changing. “You could’ve been really hurt, and you’ll probably need stitches in your eyebrow.”

 

“Isn’t this the part where you call me your knight in shining armour, or whatever?”

 

“This is the part where I call you an idiot, and tell you that violence will get you nowhere.” Alex takes Maggie’s hand, holding it gently, and wiping the cloth over her bloodied knuckles.

 

Maggie feels electricity pulse through her body with Alex’s touch. If she were any braver, she’d lean in and kiss her. But Maggie is no knight, and all she feels is cowardice.

 

“Thank you, though,” Alex whispers, and in that moment, Alex’s gratitude feels better than a kiss ever could.

 

“Any time, Danvers,” Maggie replies.

 

///

 

Maggie is a very lucky person. She’s lucky because she gets off with a three week suspension. She’s lucky that the assholes don’t press charges (Kara explains that Maggie was protecting her, and that the boys have been harassing her for a year). She’s lucky because her Aunt Issy doesn’t murder her.

 

Mostly she’s lucky because Alex Danvers visits her every single day of her suspension, bringing her homework and hanging out with her for a few hours and keeping her sane. Kara tags along sometimes, always bringing snacks and smiles, winning over Issy easily with her bubbly charm. More often than not, Issy invites the sisters to stay for dinner, always cooking enough for a small army.

 

And when Maggie finally returns back to school, her and Alex are inseparable. They walk to class together, and they always spend lunch together, sometimes just the two of them, sometimes Alex joining Maggie’s group of friends who welcome her with only a bit of wariness. 

 

Her teachers are all impressed that she’s managed to stay on top of her studies, despite the fact she’s missed three weeks of classes. Coach Jones is still pissed that she’s missed so much practice, but she’s back and better than ever, performing better than she ever did before, keeping the team morale at an all time high. Maggie’s life is going amazingly well, and for the first time since she her parents kicked her out, she thinks she’s completely happy.

 

And she knows she has Alex to thank for it.

 

They walk home from school together, just the two of them, and by the time they get to Maggie’s place, they’re famished. 

 

“Issy’s working the evening shift, and won’t be home til later, but I can make us something if you’re hungry?” Maggie pulls open the fridge, surveying the contents. “Or, we can order pizza.”

 

“Actually,” Alex says, “I have something to tell you.” Maggie looks up at Alex, the nerves in her voice apparent.

 

“You can tell me anything,” Maggie tells her, more sincere than she’s ever been. Alex takes a deep breath.

 

“Maxwell Lord asked me to prom.” Maggie’s hand freezes, hovering over the orange juice. She feels her blood run cold and her heart hurts in a way that scares her.

 

“Oh,” is all that she can muster, her voice strangled.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Did you, um. Did you say yes?”

 

“No, not yet.” 

 

Maggie doesn’t know what this feeling is, the bitterness that courses through her, the way her heart feels like it’s living in her stomach. She feels her eyes prick with tears, but she wipes them away before Alex can see, thanking a god she doesn’t believe in that she’s still looking at the fridge.

 

“You, you should say yes,” Maggie says, not believing a word of it, hating herself for saying it outloud. 

 

“I should?” Alex asks. Maggie turns around, and nods. She wonders briefly if the almost disappointed look on Alex’s face is real or if she’s imagining it.

 

“I should,” Alex repeats.

 

“It’s what we’ve been working towards, right? It’s the only reason we hang out.”

 

“We hang out because we’re friends,” Alex says, and Maggie could cry at the way her voice sounds, scared and not ready to be hurt. But Maggie’s going into full on survival mode. She can’t stop what comes out of her mouth.

 

“We hang out because we made a deal, Danvers. You helped me with calculus, I helped you get a date with Max Lord. And now it’s done.”

 

“Maggie…”

 

“I would never been friends with you, Alex. This was a, a social experiment that went well. Nothing more.” Maggie watches as Alex wipes away a stray tear. She picks her bag up off the floor, and storms past Maggie, heading for the door. Alex stops before she leaves, and turns back to her.

 

“Grow up, Maggie.” She slams the door behind her, and Maggie lets the tears fall. She slumps to the floor of the kitchen and cries, replaying their conversation over and over again in her head. She wishes she’d had the courage to say what she wanted to say

 

_ Go to the dance with me, instead. _

 

_ I like you, Alex.  _

 

_ I think I’m falling for you. _

 

But all she can do now is cry on the kitchen floor, and that’s where Issy finds her hours later when she gets home from work.

 

“Maggie! Mags!” Issy cries, panicking when she walks in. She sinks down beside her niece, and looks her over for any obvious injury, but there’s nothing but the healing cuts on her face and tear soaked cheeks. “What happened, is everything okay?”

 

“I ruined it, tia,” Maggie says, leaning into her aunt’s embrace. “I fucked it all up.”

 

“What, honey?”

 

“Alex.” It's all she can say before she starts to cry again. Issy smooths down Maggie’s hair and clicks her tongue sympathetically. She knows. She saw the way Maggie looked at Alex. A mom always knows. 

 

“It’ll be alright, Mags. I promise. Everything will be okay.”

 

///

 

Maggie has never felt so alone in her whole life.

 

Not when Eliza betrayed her. Not when she sat in the local church waiting for Issy to pick her up when her parents threw her out.

 

Now. Walking down the halls without Alex by her side. Eating lunch with a group of people who’ve treated her warily ever since she got into a fist fight protecting a sophomore. She’d spent most of her life not knowing Alex Danvers, and now, after not talking to her for two weeks, Maggie thinks she might implode. Her heart feels heavy in her chest and guilt pumps through her body, constantly horrified by the things she said to Alex.

 

Issy told her that the best solution was to apologise to Alex, clear the air, and hopefully move past all the shit. But it was hard to apologise when Alex refused to be anywhere near Maggie, when ignored Maggie’s voice calling her name in the hallways, when she ate lunch in freaking Narnia or somewhere Maggie had yet been able to find.

 

So Maggie decided to fuck Issy’s advice, and that the best cure for the heartache she was feeling was to get really fucking drunk at a house party Lucy Lane was throwing.

 

She arrives fashionably late to the party, earning a cheer as she walks through the front door. James steers her towards the kitchen and hands her a shot. She doesn’t wait for him to pour his own, she just knocks it back without a chaser. And takes his, and finishes that off too.

 

“Damn, you goin’ hard tonight Sawyer?”

 

“You bet your ass, Olsen!” she replies, making herself a vodka coke that’s mostly the former. She downs it, and grabs a beer. James takes it away from her.

 

“Maggie, you okay?” he asks, concern in his eyes. She laughs, and swipes the beer away from him.

 

“Never been worse, Jimbo,” she yells out as she retreats into the crowd. James groans, and pulls out his phone. As he dials the number, he just hopes they answer, and that they’re willing to come.

 

///

 

It’s Lucy Lane who suggests truth or dare, and it’s Maxwell Lord who makes sure Maggie plays, a scheming glint in his eyes. It starts off tame, a few questions about who likes who, a few dares involving stripping and kissing, the usual high school drama.

 

And then it’s Max’s turn. He turns to Maggie immediately.

 

“Maggie Sawyer,” he says, shit eating smirk firmly in place. “Truth or dare?” It takes Maggie less than two seconds to weigh up her options.

 

“Truth,” she decides, not giving any shits about anything.

 

“Tell us what went down between you and Danvers.” A quiet murmur goes through the crowd of people, and Maggie takes a long sip of her beer.

 

“Easy, she tutored me in calculus so I could stay on the baseball team,” she says.

 

“It was more than that,” he taunts, “tell us.” 

 

Maggie finds stupid courage at the bottom of her bottle. And as she looks up, she sees Alex hovering in the doorway, searching the room for Maggie.

 

“You wanna know what happened?” she asks, and the room murmurs yes.

 

“You don’t want to do this, Maggie,” James says, but she shrugs him away. Alex’s eyes find hers, and Maggie refuses to break the connection.

 

“I helped make her cool. She tutored me in math, and return I taught her how to be a functioning human. We bought her new clothes. I taught her how to hold a fucking conversation, about bands and movies. Told her I’d get Maxwell Lord to ask her to Prom. We both held up our ends of the bargain. I got back on the baseball team. I made her a passable person.” Max laughs loudly, and Maggie continues to stare defiantly at Alex, ignoring the betrayal in her features as she leaves the party just as quickly as she came.

 

“You forgot the part where you’re in love with her, Sawyer,” Maxwell says. Maggie feels every pair of eyes in the room on her as she goes bright red.

 

“What?” James says incredulously. He turns to Maggie. “You’re gay?” Maggie laughs mirthlessly. She couldn’t care less at this point.

 

“Are you really that dense? All of you? There’s a reason I exclusively wear plaid and play baseball, you idiots. And I don’t just live with my aunt for the hell of it, I live with her because my parents didn’t like the fact that I’m a giant lesbian, and they kicked me out.” 

 

The room is deathly silent, and Maggie doesn’t give a shit. She keeps on going.

 

“And now all of you know, too. So what? Are you going to treat me like shit like you do to everyone who’s slightly different in this school? You gonna harass me like you used to do to Kara Danvers? Or just make fun of me behind my back like you do to Alex? Because you’re all just… you’re a bunch of assholes. You pick apart anything you don’t like, and you don’t stop for a second to think about your actions and the effects they have. You should all be ashamed of yourselves for treating Alex Danvers the way you did. Because she is the kindest, most selfless person I have ever met. She’s smart and funny and beautiful, and so much better than any of us will ever be. And I… I…” Realisation washes over Maggie and suddenly everything’s clear.

 

She loves Alex Danvers.

 

“Gimme a break,” Max scoffs, and Maggie whirls around, seething.

 

“You’re lucky I’m drunk as hell, because I will fuck you up. You just outed me to the whole school.”

 

“Oh can it, you dyke.” An audible gasp echoes around the room. “Go find that uppity bitch and get out of here. No-one cares enough about you to give a shit.” Maggie moves forward, seething with anger, but James lays a hand on her shoulder.

 

He steps around her, directly in between her and Maxwell. 

 

And then Maxwell’s on a bed of broken glass, holding a bloody nose and James is nursing a bruised fist and Lucy’s yelling that they broke her mom’s favourite coffee table. The room is in an uproar, but amongst the chaos, James turns and smiles at Maggie. And Maggie smiles back, because James is a good friend for punching an asshole straight in the face.

 

“Go get your girl, Mags,” he says, and Maggie hugs him gratefully, before running out the door and into the cold night air in pursuit of Alex.

 

///

 

Rain starts pissing down when Maggie is about two blocks from the Danvers residence. By the time she’s standing at the front door, she’s completely soaked and she doesn’t give a shit. Despite the fact it’s late in the night, she rings the doorbell and is disappointed when Kara’s the one to answer.

 

“What’re you doing here, Maggie?” she asks, arms folded across her chest, her brow furrowed in confusion.

 

“I need to speak to Alex,” Maggie answers. “Please.” Kara shakes her head.

 

“You have some nerve coming here after all the things you said to her,” Kara says. “You were an… an… an  _ asshole _ , Maggie.”

 

If it were any other time, Maggie would’ve laughed at Kara’s attempt at swearing and given her a hi-five, but right now she thinks she might burst into tears if she doesn’t get to talk to Alex.

 

“I know I am,” Maggie whispers.

 

“She never even liked Maxwell Lord, you know. She would’ve tutored you for nothing, but she didn’t want you to feel bad.” Maggie’s heart sinks for the thousandth time that night.

 

“Please, Kara. I know I messed up. I just want to make it up to her.” Kara falters momentarily, unsure if she should trust Maggie or not. She juts out her chin and stands up straight.

 

“You can’t talk to her--” Maggie’s shoulders sag. “-- because she’s not here.”

 

“She’s not?”

 

“No. James Olsen called her a few hours ago, said you needed help.” 

 

_ So that’s why she turned up at the party,  _ Maggie thinks,  _ for me.  _ Maggie must’ve beaten her home.

 

“Can you tell her to call me, please? Please.” Kara nods uncertainly, and Maggie walks away as she shuts the door. The rain is still constant, though not as heavy as before. She walks maybe six steps down the street when she sees her standing on the opposite side of the road, drenched.

 

“Alex!” Maggie calls out, and for some reason, as though the universe were against her, thunder rattles the sky and the rain intensifies. She races over to her, Alex taking a few small steps as well.

 

“What do you want, Maggie?”

 

“I’m---”

 

“You told everyone at the party about our deal. How could you embarrass me like that??”

 

“I shouldn’t’ve said those things. I’m so sorry. About everything.”

 

“Sorry doesn’t take back the things you said,” Alex says, and Maggie can see the tears in her eyes, even in all the rain. 

 

“I just… I got so mad. The thought of you with Maxwell Lord. I couldn’t think straight.” 

 

“Why, though? Why did it make you so angry??” 

 

Maggie doesn’t answer straight away, her mind working a mile a minute. She can see everything, laid out in front of her. How she fucked up so badly. How she ruined it all in just a few moments, just like she ruined things with Eliza and her parents and everything else in her life. Her life was a mess and she had nobody to blame but herself. She didn’t deserve Alex, she didn’t deserve her forgiveness. 

 

She’s not good enough for love.

 

“Maggie, I asked you a question.”

 

“I… I…” she wishes she didn’t have to say it, that Alex could just somehow know. Maggie can’t say it, she can’t confess her feelings. A sob works its way to the top of her throat, and it takes all of her might to hold it in. Unshed tears water her eyes and she welcomes the cold rain on her skin, calming her down slightly. 

 

“I turned Lord down,” Alex says when Maggie doesn’t answer. But Maggie knows what she has to do. She can’t hurt Alex, she can’t bring Alex into her mess of a life.

 

“You should go with him,” Maggie says, though every atom of her being screams at her not to. But the fight in her is all worn out. She’s tired. She just wants to go home.

 

Maggie walks away from Alex, ignoring how she calls after her, letting her voice get drowned out by the rain and the wind.

 

///

 

She thinks her aunt heard her crying in the shower, because when Maggie slips into her room, Issy is sitting on her bed waiting.

 

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Issy says, smoothing out the duvet. “You’re going to sit on this bed. You’re going to tell me what the hell happened between you and Alex, because you’ve gone off the deep end. You’re getting into fights. You’re on the kitchen floor crying. You’re coming home soaking wet and drunk off your face.”

 

Maggie looks at her feet, suddenly ashamed of her behaviour and the worry she’s put Issy through.

 

“Come on, Mags. Talk to me, mija.” It’s the term of endearment that does her in. Issy sounds just like Maggie’s mom when she says it, and all of a sudden Maggie’s sinking into Issy’s arms, a blubbering mess. They sit there for what feels like hours, until Maggie’s all cried out. And then, she sits up and she tells Issy everything.

 

She tells her how quickly she fell for Alex, even if she didn’t realise it.

 

She tells her all of the horrible things she said to Alex, that day in the kitchen and then at the party.

 

She tells her what happened at the party, and how she sort of agrees with what Maxwell Lord said. It’s not that nobody cares, Maggie tells her aunt, it’s that nobody should care. She’s a fuck up. She doesn’t deserve Alex or love or whatever because everything she touches turns to shit.

 

She tells Issy she’s sorry for everything she’s put her through, that she’s a burden and she’ll do everything she can to pay Issy back one day.

 

And then it’s Issy’s turn to talk.

 

Issy tells Maggie that if she ever meets that Maxwell Lord douchebag, she’ll straight up murder him.

 

Issy tells Maggie that she is not, nor will she ever be, a burden in their home. And if Maggie tries to pay her anything, Issy will whoop her ass.

 

“And another thing,” Issy tells her. She takes Maggie’s face in her hands, tears swimming in both their eyes. “You are not the bad things that happen to you. You have been through so much, too much. And you might not believe me right now, but you’re strong and kind and good, and you deserve to be happy and in love more than anyone else I know. Understood?” Maggie nods her head as more tears fall, and Issy kisses her on the cheek.

 

“Oh, and first thing Monday we’re finding you a psychologist. You’re carrying around way too much for anybody to handle, and I don’t want you hurting yourself in any way.”

 

“Yes, tia.”

 

“I love you, squirt,” Issy tells her, and Maggie leans further into her arms. 

 

“I love you, too, Aunt Issy.”

 

///

 

Maggie should be happy right now.

 

She stands on the stage, a crown on her head and flowers in her arms. James stands beside her in a matching crowd, grinning like an idiot. Her peers cheer loudly from the crowd, having elected her prom queen. She doesn’t know why or how or what, but she knows that in the month since the party, she’s been making a bona fide effort to be better. She guesses part of her win comes from her classmates still feeling guilty about the way she was outed. 

 

She had heard rumblings about Alex, too, that she was caught kissing Vicky Donahue behind the bleachers, but she didn’t think it was true; Alex would never be that cliched. She made James ask Kara about it, to get the full story, and Kara had told him that Alex and Vicky had never been a thing, that Alex had her heart set on someone else.

 

The principal ushers Maggie towards the mic, giving her the opportunity to say thank you to her peers. But Maggie takes a deep breath and decides it’s time. It’s time to face the thing that scares her most.

 

“I’ve been through a lot since I moved to this school and this town. And first and foremost, I want to say thank you to you all for being so supportive, especially in the past few weeks.

 

“But the truth is, there’s one person here who means more to me than anyone else. And I… I messed things up. Alex--” the audience begins murmuring at the mention of Alex, and Maggie looks out over them all, trying to find her. The crowd splits right down the middle, and there stands Alex, at the back of the auditorium. Maggie cocks her head and looks down at her.

 

“Alex, I messed everything up. I said horrible things and I said them because I was afraid, I was afraid that I would hurt you, and lose you as my friend. And, I did both of those things anyway. You don’t have to forgive me. You shouldn’t forgive me.

 

“But you should know… Alex, you should know I’m in love with you. I’ve been falling for you since the moment I saw you in Ms. Ryan’s freshman calculus class. I’ve been falling for you every minute of every day and I thought I could ignore it, but... Life’s too short, Alex. And we should kiss the girls we want to kiss. And i just, I really want to kiss you.”

 

She ignores the squeals of her classmates, she ignores the bright lights and the confetti. All Maggie can focus on is the way Alex smiles up at her, her eyes brighter than Maggie’s ever seen.

 

“Go to her!” James yells, and everybody laughs. Maggie jumps off the stage, and takes big, meaningful strides towards Alex. Alex meets her in the middle of the dance floor.

 

And then, Maggie kisses her.

 

Issy once told her that kissing somebody for the first time, if it’s right, feels like fireworks. But she was wrong.

 

Kissing Alex for the first time feels like worlds have aligned, it feels like time has slowed down and stopped and that started once more. It feels like every part of Maggie’s being is finally calmed, having finally fulfilled their lives’ mission.

 

Kissing Alex doesn’t feel like coming up for fresh air, no, it feels as though Maggie has never breathed before this moment. Kissing Alex feels like Maggie’s entire world is tumbling down, only to rebuild itself once again, with Alex Danvers a its centre.

 

Kissing Alex feels perfect, like it’s the only thing Maggie ever needs to do to feel fulfilled. 

 

“So what you’re saying,” Alex says, once they come up for air, still ignoring the cheers and yells of all their peers. “What you’re saying is you like me.”

 

“No,” Maggie smiles, as she links their fingers together. “What I’m saying is I love you.”

 

She knows that everything is finally right, because loving Alex Danvers feels like Maggie is finally home.

 

And she knows she will be forever.

 

**Author's Note:**

> as always you can find me [@murdershegoat](https://murdershegoat.tumblr.com) i promise silly headcanons, angsty prompts and an all round good time.
> 
> catch u on the flippity flop


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